Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Perfect Daydream

Suppose I told you that you can have one situation go exactly according to plan, you just have to think about it, perfect it, and it'll happen. Most people, including myself, would spend countless hours fantasizing about the perfect scenario playing out before them and changing their lives forever. They would imagine meeting their true love in an elevator, landing the perfect job interview, meeting their favorite celebrity or moving into the perfect home. What most people won't think about will be refusing my offer. Everyone wants to live out their dreams but do we really know what our dreams are?

I've been mulling over this in my brain for a couple of weeks now and I've come down to a conclusion. I don't know what my dreams are. I have ideas about things I would love to do and I've fantasized about walking down the isle, working in orphanages, and sitting on the beach in Greece. I daydream at work, in school or just sitting in my room about life and it's adventures but I don't know me like He knows me.

I think about all of the things I had hoped for and thought out up to this point. I had a picture perfect idea of what my life would be like by the time I was 22. It sounds silly but I planned on being graduated early with my Art Education degree, engaged to a guy who looks nice in a pea coat, and planning to move into a little house. Those of you who know me know that this is not my life and those of you who really know me know that this is not what I want. God took me along a different path and I'm so thankful that He didn't agree to my petty previous dreams. He had something better for me, I just didn't know it until He handed it over.

Turns out I'll be graduating late with a Special Education degree but I'm so thankful for the time I've been given and my new passion. I'm not engaged to a man in a pea coat (but I still like pea coats) and I can't imagine being engaged right now. I still live with my parents, praise God. I love being there and I'm not in a hurry to move out anytime soon. God knew, I didn't.

I'll sometimes think about certain situations and how I will handle them when they arrive. What I will say and what I will do? Will I be clever and rise to the occasion or will I simply stand there like a deer in the headlights? I know that it's easy to get carried away whenever we think we know how we want our lives to go but it's even easier whenever we realize that we don't know and we no longer want to know.

God's ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. His ways are above our ways and His thoughts are above our thoughts. He has the perfect blueprint for our lives. Sometimes we question His plan and we start to think it's a little crazy, but that's when we realize that He knew what would make us happy before we even had a clue.

All the sudden my minuscule ideas and fairytale notes look puny and unfulfilling next to God's grandiose script. I never want to plan again, but I will because it's a good place to deviate from. I just want to live my life following after Him, learning, creating and being a disciple of Christ. He's blessed me so much and I wouldn't change a thing in my life. It's been developing beyond any of my dreams or plans. I've experienced things with people that I never dreamed I would. And I can't imagine my life having been any different. I still daydream but I do it for fun and I know that I have dreams that will come true just never the way I expect them to.

Thank you Lord for knowing me better than I know myself. Thank you Lord for whatever the future holds for me. Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly because of you.