Sinking Ships and Sinking Feelings

I can't exactly describe how it is I am feeling right now. I'm not sure how my fingers are moving around the keyboard effortlessly whilst the rest of my body feels like jello or pudding. I took the big orange pill my doctor gave me this morning and let my muscles melt off of me so that all that is left is a puddle of JoAnna. I had no idea back pain could be this bad. I also had no idea that I could lose almost total control of my body from something so incredibly small. I'm supposed to be at work right now.... and I have VBS tonight.... where I'm supposed to be jumping up and down and shouting at children... but right now I can't even will myself to get off the couch to go get some gold fish. And I am really really am craving gold fish...

So I thought to my self....Self, you forgot to blog this Monday do it now. I had this crazy thought that went spinning out of control and manifested itself into a post. And now I am sharing that brain-juice with you.

If I were in a pool right now, I would sink. How come? Because of the power of a tiny insignificant looking pill. It's a horrible feeling to be helpless. It's a scary feeling to know something so small can affect me in such a large way.

But how many times in life do we over look even the smallest things? We don't realize that even the small things affect us in major ways leading to our lives down to the deepest parts of our life ocean. And other times it's the small things that rise us out of the darkness and keep us afloat. It can go both ways.

You may feel like the Captain of a sinking ship at times. Like everything you do is poking holes into your underbelly. But maybe it's time to stop taking drastic measures and start taking small but meaningful steps in the right direction?

Everything happens for a reason and every step you take has a purpose. Whether you think it is significant or not is not the issue. The first step on a dance floor can become a waltz or the first step, if done incorrectly, can become utter humiliation.

What small things are you overlooking? Just a thought.

Work, Play and Big Words

It's Monday and I'm posting this blog. I'm going to warn you...this blog has nothing to do with anything. I'm going to start typing and see what happens. I hope you embark on this journey with me because my soul is overflowing and I'm not sure what's going to take place. So...here we go.

I remember a time when I would read big words and feel very small. Like the word itself contained more letters in it then I had years in my life. I would surely be overtaken by its vastness. There would be no surviving against such curvatures of sound and I would be lost in the eloquence of language. Then I learned that most people do not understand the words that are bigger then the years of my life and things got easier. Fear turned into being intrigued and I started to pursue a love of words, letters and sounds.

Then such a pursuit became a chore when I entered my first real English class. It was as if though someone took a needle to my ever inflating hot air balloon of ink. Words melted off pages like butter on a hot summers day and I stopped loving them. I stopped caring about their curves and the way their sounds formed melodies of meaning. My fascination with words ceased to exist. But why?

The world had told me that my love of words was no longer something to pursue out of passion, but something to pursue out of scholarly advancement. Without a complex vocabulary, my steps in life would be altered in a way that would hold me back from 'opportunity'. But how many times do we do this to the things we once loved? Where will I end up if my love of learning such words has disappeared with the ashes labor and scrutiny? I am no longer free to fail at pronunciations and entanglements. I am judged for my passion and persecuted for my adventure. This is where I realized,
Our fascinations become our obligations.
Our passions become our duties.
Our love becomes our life.

So how do we gain back that spark of romance we once had with the ink blots that twisted into sentences and sent images into our minds? We remember why we once loved them. How must we change our perspective?
Our obligations become our fascinations.
Our duties become our passions.
Our life becomes our love.

Work and play. A saying that has captured the idealistic American life for decades has never before been so mangled in a society and I say...for the better. People strive to hold a job in something they love. And then there are times that we lose that love because it has become our job. But wouldn't the opposite be true if we truly wanted it? To love words again even though I was forced to learn them? If we change our minds, we can then change our hearts. And if we once loved words we can love words again.

I'm not sure where any of this came from or how you might apply it to your life. I just feel that someone out there needed to read this and it's probably you. I guess the moral of the story is to do everything in your power to not lose something you love because it becomes work. It's one of the hardest things to accomplish in life, but frankly we were meant to accomplish it.

Where do you go at the fork in the road?

There comes a moment in everyones life that they realize that they can't possibly go on without God intervening. A moment when we absolutely have no idea where to go from here...

This is the part where we feel like we've finally gotten to a spot in our lives where we have made every right turn and every good choice. But now there's a fork in the road and a catch.

Some of the roads to the left look familiar. You've been part way down that road before but never past a certain point. The road on the right is completely new. So what do you do? Both have unknown destinations and both seem to be where God would lead.

I've learned that God aligns paths perfectly to cross and intersect. He's intricate in the way He winds our lives together to a perfect T. But I've also learned that sometimes going down a completely new road is the only way. So what to do? Go with what you know now and let it lead you or go with what you don't know and pray for the best?

There is no right answer unfortunately. It's all God and His plan. If you don't know what to do don't do anything. My Grandpa used to say that. He was right. Riding the winds of God's glory isn't a bad thing. It means that the puzzle pieces fall into place without you so much as lifting a finger. But the trick is living a life that seeks God first and foremost. Besides He's all we need.

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

It's scary sometimes, hanging on the edge of reason and faith. But God doesn't always call us to be 'reasonable' ...sometimes He called us to just be faithful. Patient and with eyes looking up. The answers in His hands. Last minute decisions maybe in order but He will make it perfectly clear believe me.

God won't let you sleep at night laying on a bed of a bad decision. On the other hand when you've made the right decision it will be the best sleep you've ever had.

So I'm not saying to go with your gut, but I am saying that God makes things pretty darn clear. And when He gives you an answer, be faithful, don't second guess. Stay in Truth and be in God's love.

It's 11:21, do hard things in life.

So it's 11:21 at night and I should be sleeping but God decided to tell me to write this blog post. I haven't updated in almost two weeks and I'm sorry if you've missed my brain juice :(

I've had a lot going on these past two weeks that have caused me to doubt, become discouraged, and scream like a maniac at my ceiling. I found myself over-thinking, over-working, and wishing every time that clock hit 11:11. Your probably wondering why, well I'll tell you.

So these past two weeks I had: A nervous breakdown about camp, youth group and relationships, upsetting then not upsetting health news, boy issues, and stress leaking out of my ears. To top it all off I started getting nostalgic which is never, ever a good thing.

But God didn't call us to a life of ease. He called us to a life of purpose. I realized this week that if I'm going to chose to live a life different from the norm., I'm going to have to do hard things.

Ask yourself: When I look back on my life in 10 years, will I be satisfied with the view from the hill.?

The view from the hill is the view that everyone sees. Most peoples lives only consist of making it to the top of the hill and then enjoying the view until they pass on. These are the people who watch the others climb their way up the mountain next to the hill.

Those of us to chose to climb the mountain chose a very hard road. A road of persecution for not being 'normal' and for obeying Gods plan no matter how difficult. We stand on the top of the mountain and see everything. We see the view from the hill and beyond. We experience God's power.

So if we chose to take the hard road, what are some things we can do to balance out our lives and make sure we are climbing to the best of our abilities? Once you've even been half way up the mountain, it's hard to go back to the hill. Try explaining a breathtaking view to some people who doesn't understand you at all.

Don't leave the mountain. Press on through the hard things. The reward is far greater and God won't let you fail. And learn to manage your stress and difficulties by letting God take the reigns. Sometimes letting go of something is the hardest thing. Sometimes it's hanging on to something. Ask God, He knows.

Six Degrees from Knowing You

We've all heard the phrase 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon. It means that we are separated from each other by 6 people a piece. You can get to anyone in the world through 6 people you know. For example:

Marge has a cousin Fitzgerald whose best friend Lyle is friends with Jared who happens to know Britney in Las Vegas who works with Samwise whose brother is Kevin Beacon. So technically Marge knows Kevin Bacon.

When I was out on a run yesterday I started thinking about all the people I know and all of the people I don't know and would like to meet. There's plenty of people in this world I would love to talk to and shake their hand. I started thinking of random famous people I'd like to talk to and what I would say to them. I had it all planned out for certain Christian celebrities, making up false realities in my head and laughing out loud. Then I thought to myself, I will get to meet them in heaven.

Woooah. So that's when it hit me. Christians are connected by God on the first degree. So if we go back to our example that would mean that Marge knows Kevin Bacon first hand. All Christians are connected by God and will spend forever together in eternity. That is so cool! We are connected and God is the glue that binds us.

As Christians were all here for one common purpose and that is to glorify and serve God, drawing people to him. Whether everyone knows your name or only the people in your house, you have a greater purpose that units us all.

Just something to think about. I have lots of people I will probably never meet here on Earth that I will love to thank in heaven for their examples they lead while we were here. I'm connected to them by their faith and they are connected to me. Same goes for you. That just shows the vastness and the power of Gods family. Pretty sweet.

Brain Works.

Whenever we are faced with a challenge some of us think about the following things:

What is the probability of the situation working out?

How many different scenarios can arise from this problem?

What is the probable outcome for each of those scenarios?

Which are the best scenario courses of action?

It gets worse...

Of those best courses of action, which will be most likely to succeed?

If one or more of those choices has a desired, probable outcome, which will you chose?

Congratulations- you just took a step into the way my brain works. I hope I didn't confuse you too much along the way. Some people claim I think too much and the truth is I do. I tend to over analyze my situations and dissect them into the simplest forms of matter for processing. But it's not always a good thing (and if you know me, you would never have guessed I think like that because I am generally laid back and easy going). Seeing as we serve a God whose ways are above our ways and thoughts above our thoughts, why do we try so hard to understand?

God always tends to chose the course of action for me that I never would've chosen because the end result, after countless hours of thinking, are always inconclusive. These are the paths I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel in. This requires blind and selfless faith to jump right in and let God light up the path a little at a time along the way.

Honestly this is just what has been on my mind lately. If I can see a probable outcome and a simple solution, it is most likely not what God has for me. On the other hand lately, If the situation seems impossible and no probable outcome can be established, God says to go that way.

So that's what I do. And that's when God makes His plan crystal clear. He is not the author of confusion, but He wants to be the one to show us the clarity. So if we try to figure Gods ways out on our own, we get confused. Everything happens for a reason. God will show you what that reason is. Sometimes you just need to stop searching for it. Sometimes you need to stop questioning it. Let God be God.

Love without limits and bounds.

If I tell you that love knows no limits and knows no bounds what is the first thing that comes to mind?

We often hear stories about the love people have for each other that allows them to over come every obstacle and even defeat evil. At the end of every disney movie it is usually love that breaks the spell and the loveless villain that gets destroyed. We have an understanding that love is a powerful force but we never fully understand it until we see it in action.

There have been countless stories about a parents love for their child, saving them. Or stories about a couple that falls in love and must change the hearts of their families and their entire world in order to be accepted and be together. There are also stories of best friends sticking together and helping each other in their most desperate hour. If love is such a powerful force that it causes people to change their entire lives to pursue it, how can we say that it doesn't exist?

If people loved more they would accomplish more. If they loved even their enemies there would be no reason for fighting. This world destroys love on a daily basis because it realizes how powerful it is.

"For God so loved the world"- a verse we hear all the time but do we really know what that sentence entails? Think about the craziest thing you or someone you know has ever done for love... People risk everything they have for the power of love because they know that love will always triumph over hate. It is a powerful weapon. Once you have it, you don't want to ever let it go. God LOVES us. And if we think the human version of powerful love has had some impressive stories, nothing compares to Gods.

He sent His son to die for us. Love washed away our sins, love raised His son from the grave. Love is what connects us to God. The God of the universe used love as his most powerful weapon to free us from sin. If God's most powerful attribute is His love, why shouldn't our most power attribute be our love?

Love knows no limits, love knows no bounds. We live in a world that restricts and taints love. But the world does this because it knows how powerful love can be, that it can change peoples lives and cause people to climb mountains they never thought possible so they try and keep it at bay. What if we loved like God loves? Even our enemies. Even the people we just don't like. What would happen to this world if we all had the power of love, limitless and boundless?